Helen’s story
When I met Eleni, all she kept repeating was, “I have no energy left for anything.” Eleni is the owner of a small hair salon and a mother of 3 who struggles daily with her responsibilities, taking care of her children, being polite to her customers, and making sure to pay her assistant’s salary and the rent at the end of the month.
She was afraid that she would be forced to close her business, even though the appointments were more than she could handle. And most of all, she felt guilty that she was not a good mother, wife, daughter, or friend.
When I mentioned to Eleni that business coaching could help her, she looked at me in surprise, saying, “Business coaching is only for ‘entrepreneurs’.”
Eleni didn’t see herself as an entrepreneur, even though she successfully ran two “businesses”: her hair salon and her home. She reluctantly agreed to have a first coaching session with Leda.
The story of Leda
Leda had just been promoted but felt like she was probably lucky.
She knew “well” that her colleagues were talking about her behind her back and believed she was incompetent.
And she did everything to prove her “incompetence.” In meetings, she spoke less and less because she was afraid of making a mistake. Sometimes she even tried to sneak out of meetings because something urgent had come up.
Every morning she got up and got ready for work with difficulty. She didn’t want to be in the same room with those who gossiped about her again.
Both of these women had a “common experience,” an experience common to many people – men and women. Many experience what has been described as imposter syndrome.
The Impostor Syndrome
Although they have managed to create a successful business, they feel that they are not good enough and that they will soon close it down. They feel that it is only a matter of time before someone discovers that they are not good enough. They have difficulty accepting compliments or celebrating their successes. They feel that they do not belong to the “entrepreneurial group” like Helen even though they have the qualifications and ability. They feel that they did not deserve the promotion and that they were just lucky like Leda. They feel intense insecurity, are overwhelmed by negative thoughts and emotions, and feel inadequate.
What is imposter syndrome?
The term “imposter syndrome” was first coined in the late 1970s by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, who observed the phenomenon in high-achieving women. Clance and Imes defined imposter syndrome as a psychological phenomenon in which individuals, particularly women, doubt their achievements and have a persistent fear of being exposed as frauds despite evidence of their abilities.
Their scientific findings have given rise to the creation of special programs and initiatives in all areas to address the phenomenon. Even famous women such as actresses Charlize Theron and Viola Davis, lawyer and former First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, and Sheryl Sandberg, an executive on the boards of directors of Google and Meta (Facebook), have confessed that they have felt inadequate.
But does imposter syndrome not exist?
Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey write in their Harvard Business Review article Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome
“The impact of systemic racism, classism, xenophobia, and other biases was blatantly absent when the concept of imposter syndrome was developed. Many groups were excluded from the study, namely women of color and people of various income levels, genders, and professional backgrounds. Even as we know it today, imposter syndrome blames individuals, without considering the historical and cultural contexts that are fundamental to how it manifests in both women of color and white women. Imposter syndrome directs our perspective toward fixing women at work, rather than fixing the spaces where women work.”
Coaching and the “imposter syndrome” – Can we feel adequate?
Business coaching and career coaching can help decisively because
- We recognize negative thoughts and negative emotions. This is the first step in being able to see what the most effective solution will be.
- We identify our strengths and weaknesses, recognize our achievements – small and large – but also what we can learn from our failures.
- We identify our own weaknesses and the weaknesses of our social or work environment and how we can improve them.
- We learn to accept compliments and our successes.
- We practice seeing negative criticism as constructive criticism that helps us grow and improve.
- We set realistic goals within the framework of possibilities.
- We seek support when we need it.
Coaching helps us recognize that every obstacle or problem that appears before us in our work is an opportunity.
An opportunity to equip ourselves with new solutions and approaches to the issue that concerns us.
It helps us achieve small daily goals that lead to our big vision and idea.
It helps us remember that every small victory is our own victory and not anyone else’s.
So, yes, we can feel adequate because that’s who we are! Because we are not frauds!